Giftfic for pellimusprime: Bright Ideas

[stainless]

Title: Bright Ideas
Characters: Starscream, mentions of Megatron/Starscream and Optimus/Starscream
Verse: My own weird thingy; same 'verse as The Beginning of the End and Inception, except more... cracky.
Wordcount: 850+
Rating: I'm going to say M for some mentions of sexytime, but... none happens explicitly here.
Warnings: Hmmm. Not sure. Again, mentions of sexual stuff, but nothing explicit.
Summary: This is a gift for pellimusprime, who wanted some OP/SS. I tried to write something longer and explicit and entertainingly cracky, but Optimus just wouldn't come out right. Starscream was fine, but Optimus just seemed silly in places. Even though it was meant to be crack I didn't like making him less than epic. Since the Starscream bits were fine I decided to write this thing, which is entirely from his point of view. Which, yes, means I fail at writing Autobots, at least for the moment. Damn you, good guys! >_< Pell, I hope you like your silly crack, and I'm sorry it's so short.

Starscream leaned against the wall, his red optics bright in the darkness. Every part of him ached. Especially his wings, which it seemed everyone who felt like bothering him just had to grab or pinch or punch or pull. That wasn't so bad when it was Megatron -- or at least it usually got fun -- but tonight, even that hadn't cheered him up. The Decepticons' glorious leader had been entirely too angry to pay much attention at all to his subordinate's pleasure. Although Starscream had overloaded, as usual, now he just felt sore and tired.

He missed the way things were in the beginning. At least back then there'd been something to like about the pompous slagger who did this to him.

Oh, he'd never cared much about Cybertron and its defense. At least not like Megatron had. He'd been built a military machine, so he fought like one. That was their duty, so he did it.

And it was fun to spar with others who were strong, or quick, or clever. It kept him fast and skilled. And it got the attention of the kind of strong, powerful mechs he'd be most interested in.

Megatron had always been one of them. Testing himself against someone so powerful was fun, particularly when he actually managed to do some damage or to make the other flinch with a finely-honed verbal barb. Megatron could pretend that never happened all he wanted. Starscream knew better.

And that usually was enough to keep the Seeker going, at least. But this time... he wondered.

He found himself thinking, of all things, about the Autobots and their leader. He hated them, of course, and even now his lips curled in derision. How could they keep themselves in fighting trim when they spent so much time agreeing with each other?

And yet, thinking of their leader, bright blue optics set in a hidden face, he found himself feeling... calm, somehow. Their Prime was as big as Megatron, his frame broad and sturdy, just the way he liked --

Okay, those blows must have damaged something in my processor, the Seeker thought, his sore wings twitching as he struggled to get comfortable. I'm glitching like Primus knows what.

Still, he didn't feel like dragging himself to the repair bay. The injuries Megatron had dealt him were nothing he hadn't dealt with before. And everyone had seen the beginning of his latest spat with the Decepticons' glorious leader. They'd know what must have happened next, and he'd look like a soft-sparked little weakling showing up in the medbay screeching for repairs. Squeaking in irritation, he put a hand to his head.

His mind drifted for a moment, unfortunately settling on the very same thought he'd just tried to drive out of it. The image in his mind was being terribly stubborn about not going away. And there was the Autobot's voice, too, a voice that demanded respect, yet somehow was calm and soothing at the same time. How exactly did Autobots manage that, anyway? He'd never been able to figure it out.

Still, he thought, it might be refreshing not to get yelled at for once.

Oh, now he was thinking like a fool. A witless, sentimental, silly fool. Feeling a sudden warmth in his chest, he groaned, even as it drove away the worst of the cold. If he was going to think like this -- about the leader of his enemies no less! -- he deserved every word of Megatron's little litany of insults. And a few of the punches, too. The metal of his faceplates whined as his mouth twisted in disgust at himself.

Still, it might be amusing to try his wiles on someone as upstanding as the leader of the Autobots. If their Prime fell for it, that would be something to laugh about for stellar cycles. The others, he was sure, would laugh like hell at it as well.

He chuckled, warming to the idea, imagining recounting his conquest to someone with a sense of humor. Rumble, maybe. Or Skywarp, over some nice high-grade, perfect for warming a night like this...

And then, of course, there was the fact that Megatron would hate it. He laughed louder, imagining the august visage of their exalted leader upon hearing that news. That, he thought, would be so priceless it might even be worth whatever punishment Megatron might dream up for it.

Hell, getting Megatron jealous -- as long as it doesn't get me slagged, anyway -- might even be fun, as long as he'd had a nice long time to recuperate from tonight's dents and bangs. Megatron would never be able to tolerate such a challenge to his claim on his second-in-command, and would doubtless be compelled to prove himself the better lover.

And that would mean twice the fun for him, as long as he was ready for whatever violence came along with Megatron reasserting his ownership.

He chuckled, twitching his sore wings to test them. On second thought, he might just fly himself to repair bay tonight after all.

Comments

[meaisin-caoin.livejournal.com]

:) Yay, it's posted! I love the way this turned out.

[stainless]

Thank you!

[lost_carcosa]

How could they keep themselves in fighting trim when they spent so much time agreeing with each other? Lovely line.

Very cool fic. Screamer's at his best when scheming. Damn, I hope you get OP right and there can be a sequel ;)

[stainless]

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf I'llthinkaboutit.