Controversial Opinion

[stainless]

I've heard a few people saying lately that they would prefer to hear about Ted Bundy's victims rather than Ted Bundy, and... well, first of all I'm not sure entirely what brought on the Bundying, maybe there's a movie or show?

But I feel like... on the one hand, I do get it. It's a lot easier to remember awful people doing terrible things than it is to remember regular people who died by violence, but the regular people are the ones who deserve to be remembered.

And yet, I always feel slightly odd when I see this, because I'm one of the people who would rather learn about the killer than their victims.

Someone who kills people is unusual. Yeah, I know, people like to attribute bad things to social phenomena, say, "misogyny," and then go "we all know what misogynists are like, so that's not interesting, and we shouldn't glorify it by treating it like it's suddenly become interesting."

Which is a weird thing to say in the first place, because just because I've met someone (a whole bunch of someones) who think I shouldn't do X because I'm a girl, it doesn't mean I've met a serial killer. (I mean, it's possible I actually have--violent people are less rare than we like to think they are. But I don't know what one thinks just because I've heard sexist comments before.)

But even beyond that... I want to know about things. I want to study things that don't make sense, and... not necessarily understand them, but have a better working knowledge of how they work and why. Scary things especially. If I know about them, I feel more like I can predict them, and if I can predict them, I can avoid them. So I feel safer.

So I feel weird when I see posts like that because... I get the compassionate impetus behind them. But I'm really uncomfortable with "that's too awful for you to want to know about."

I... want to know about awful things because I've endured awful things, and ignoring them doesn't make them go away.

Comments

[stainless]

I honestly have no idea what people mean by "glorify." They'll say talking about something is "glorifying" it, or writing a character who does it is "glorifying" it, and I just... unless the book/show is very clearly selling "this is unambiguously good and you should try it" I don't know where "glorify" is coming from.

And I think your example would depend. If I knew someone was going around murdering autistic people, I think I WOULD be fascinated, or at least, full of questions: why them, specifically? Is it just free-floating ableism, or was the person angry at someone they knew and generalizing it? Were there particular behaviors that set them off, and what were they--not to blame people for doing those things at all, but just... what the heck could possibly annoy someone enough to make them kill? What kind of person gets that annoyed? Was the person autistic themself and self-hating? What would that be about?

If I knew someone local to me was going around targeting groups I'm in, which I think was your point... I don't know. I mean I remember when my city had a killer going around, and everyone was uncomfortable and nervous, very much including me, but... I don't really think I was any less interested in that person's motive than anyone else. Maybe even moreso... why was this person scaring ME? Like that seems even more important?

But yet people treat it as if that's not something you should think, or as if you're endorsing or excited about it if you think it, and that baffles me. Is that something NTs do, or is everyone just typical minding up a storm about this, like I suspect?

...I think I'm too Blue-aligned for the humans, sometimes.

[stainless]

Like, I guess for me the thing is, I can understand someone going "ugh! I don't want to know a damn thing about Ted Bundy! He's a misogynist!"

But I can't understand how people get from that to "Therefore, no one should study Ted Bundy or make things that give info about him! They're all misogynists! They must be having the exact same kind of reaction I am, only theirs is positive while mine is disgust!"

Is that not really intense typical minding? Because it sure sounds like it is to me.

[plugz]

I think people have a hard time with others emotions? And motivations?

As in not seeing why someone would be interested in a murderer beyond their assumption of ‘because it’s creepy!’ as to *them* they find that stuff creepy, so other humans must work like them right?

...which sounds like what you mean by tipical minding. A thing I haven’t heard of but I’m glad I have as gosh, that sounds like a useful word.
(Very late reply ftw)

[stainless]

Yeah, that’s what I meant.

People assume that someone if someone is interested in something they aren’t, it’s for evil or creepy reasons. Instead of, you know, asking.